April 18, 2002 found me rushing to the bathroom first thing in the morning to take the awaited pregnancy test. It had been five weeks since my last period, my cycles had been off ever since I had stopped birth control, and I was having some odd symptoms. We had decided to try and see if we could get pregnant in March, so that we would have a December due date. If it didn't work, we would wait until I could have a June due date. I had one more year of college left. I could have a baby over Christmas break. Right?
I stood in our college family apartment, watching the test as the pee crept through the test window. It turned pink as soon as it hit the test line. What? It couldn't be. It was, a most thoroughly positive test, no question. With my heart racing, and my hands shaking I went to wake up my husband. Surely he has was just as anxious as I was! When I told him the news he laughed. He was happy, but also went back to sleep, typical!
I don't remember who I told next that I was pregnant, possibly my sister or best friend. But the person I was most nervous to tell was my mom. I called her and talked to her for a long time, without ever mentioning the reason I had called. I hung up and started crying. My husband was wondering what was wrong. Nothing, just terrified to tell my sweet mom that I was pregnant! He convinced me to call her back, which of course made her wonder what was going on, and I told her the good news. She was over the moon happy and cried with me.
I have learned since then that I was scared at the beginning of each of my pregnancies to tell people I was pregnant. I think the nerves are escalated by the surging hormones. I was happy, but also so nervous each time that it was rather miserable. Thankfully I had a mom that always made it better with her joy at the news of each life.
I hope that if you have found this blog you have a person who brings you joy and comfort as well. And if you don't, and you need one, just call me, and I will hug you and jump with you, and cry with you as well throughout your pregnancy and birth.
